Forgiveness **Part 1
I am currently reading John Loren & Paula Sandford and Lee Bowman's book, Choosing Forgiveness. Here's a summary of what I have read and my thoughts. Will share in parts.
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Summary:
Love and respect in relationship can only be accomplished out of reverence to Christ. When we don't subject our wills to Christ, He will not rule our hearts, and He will not empower us to live with others in unity and forgiveness. We will be subject to one another, but to each other selfish control rather than in blessing.
In relationship, we can't avoid being subject to one another. Without Jesus' love in our lives, we will relate to one another in flesh than spirit. Only with the presence of Christ' redeeming grace, He can transform our relationships to blessings than harm.
In relationship, there's a tendency to counterbalance one another personality. However, tensions may arise when one of us is being pressed to lean uncomfortably towards the behaviour contrary to our temperament/ beliefs. To overcome this, we need to be sensitive enough to bring it to the cross and forgive. This is the time where we must evaluate what is happening in all the relationships and put our own ego in proper perspective. Step by step, day by day, we can take the practices of our relationships to the cross and ease the tensions through forgiveness. Through the power of Jesus Christ, our selfishness can be put to death and our wounded feelings get healed.
When our self-serving way of loving is brought to death on the cross, we radiate a warm and nurturing environment characteristic of the nature of Christ. Others then feel free to be themselves around us, and they feel free to respond to us in trust and love.
My thoughts:
God brings various people into our path. If you notice, we tend to get very agitated with certain people, or certain people with similar behaviours. Many of us, especially those who are very judgmental/critical, tend to lash out/ bad mouthing/get angry with them. We justify our anger, our attitude and our behaviour by blaming others for their misbehaviour. Our ego gets "bruised" when our advice are not taken in/ acted on, or the person did not do/ behave the way we have expected them to me. Expectation and blaming game kicks in. In actual fact, many a times, we didn't live up to their expectations as well.
I have learnt from this book that we are responsible for our own emotions, not others. Respect, acceptance, affirmation and grace. While confrontation is necessary at times, but honestly speaking, many avoid people that don't allow them to be themselves, people that always pick on you/ criticise everything that you do, but hardly praise/affirm.
The same yardstick you use on others, the same yardstick will be used on you. Strive to influence without ego. Learn and practise forgiveness